But now shrinks the place where you stand: Where now, stripped by shade, will you go? — Paul Celan

Dhaka City – nothing to be afraid of

I wake up in a cold sweat– that is to say, I wake up running a fever.
I wake up in your bosom — Dhaka City —
Pullulating, suffocating, Dhaka City, voted the worst city in the world.

Fear grips my being, I am having a panic attack, Dhaka City,
Next door, my parents sleep, my father is dying
I stay away from them, scared of giving him my germs and hastening his demise

I remember my childhood days when feeling unwell
I would climb between my parents and sleep peacefully
Unafraid of any affliction or monsters

Now, it’s all fear —
I can’t be close to the only people who used to be able to soothe my pain

Unable to find my calm happy place, I turn to chemistry:
A palindromic palliative courses through my veins
As I shower, change and put stuff in my bag to go out

To go out looking for Dhaka
The livable Dhaka, the Dhaka that is still beautiful
The Dhaka that has been missed by the NGOs who came up with the listing of the top ten worst cities in the world

The Dhaka City of my dreams
The Dhaka City of my memories

I go out looking for you

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